Shock and awe - an Indian example

Dear God,

As I draft this, I am only a few pages into Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine: The rise of disaster capitalism. And it is quite a revelation already. I think I speak for a majority of my fellow countrymen when I say that there are quite a few "I didn't know that, wow!" in there.

For this precis though, I'd like to limit myself to writing about one stark observation the book makes. A little footnote mentions a shock therapy experiment in W. Germany of the late 40s. The FM Ludwig Erhard's sudden move of introducing a new currency without warning shocked the German economy at that time leading to mass unemployment.

Isn't that eerily similar to what we witnessed in our country too, about a year ago? Demonitization. A real jolt that left us cash-strapped for at least 3-4 subsequent months. The announcement was sudden and worse, under the garb of the US election results, leaving us with very little time to react. And react if we did, would we have salvaged anything, I wonder! With ATMs and homes alike running dry, the system didn't leave us with too much of a choice. I can't imagine how the daily wage earners would've survived that painful ordeal.

I believe, in some consolation to its citizens, not only did Ludwig Erhard not cut public spending but also protected the increasing wages. In contrast though, our FM has indicated that we are going to move towards a no-subsidy economy. Already, you can see passionate calls to sacrifice domestic gas subsidy, cuts in small savings interest rates et al. And all this in a land that has a non-existent, archaic healthcare plan, poor infrastructure and zero social security.

Naomi Klein: I see the effects of this gangster capitalism everyday. Shock people beyond their wits, hit them where it hurts most, re-write the script before there is even a semblance to reaction. The biggest winners during this crackdown were the e-wallet companies. I understand it made many of them overnight billionaires.

Ok, that's some consolation...

A fork in the evolution of Homo Sapiens

Dear God,

I write this fresh off YNH's Homo Sapiens: A brief history of humankind.

YNH makes some very illuminating forecasts for our kind, including the rise of machines that will bring about our extermination. Look Google up for images on evolution of Man. You will find that Man eventually turns into machines. I was tempted to add my bit here. One, I don't quite agree (may be semantic) with that image. It just doesn't fit in by the strict definitions of evolution.

And two, in the little time that our kind has on this planet, I see a fork coming up. With disaster capitalism and its evil tentacles getting a grip of the world, the gap between the haves and the have-nots is ever widening and dare I say, will soon bring about two sub-species - Homo elitus and Homo inutilia. In fact, YNH notes the latter in his work as the useless class.

Again, selection will play a vital role here. Only this time, artificial selection. The 1% of the 1% will grow from strength to strength and amass so much wealth and power through algorithms, there will eventually be no use for the rest of the Homo Sapiens, as we know it today. This, until of course, the 1% of the 1% will colonise another planet and leave machines to rule the remnants of Sapiens!

It may not be as grim as I feel, but if it did happen, selection will bring about newer traits and characteristics so required for the survival of the 'major minority'. We'd probably be foraging for food again, after all. Who can tell!

Isn't this so reminiscent of how we exterminated an entire subspecies of Neanderthals. This time, our species will exterminate ourselves.

History will repeat itself, only the parties will have changed!

How I explained Entity Management to Amma….

Dear God,

As you know, Amma has the uncanny ability to snook you with her questions. Worse, they come when least expected. Like the other day, she asked what seemed like a fairly easy question to answer – “Exactly, what is it that you do at work?” But trust me, it isn’t.

One of two reasons why - I was dealing with a baby boomer, who is yet to come to grips with the fact that people actually ‘work’ in Facebook or why Google is more efficient than her! What also compounded the situation is that she belongs to a time when education did not receive as much stress (I suspect she can locate her Std X passing out confirmation).

And so, if I’d rattled out a fancy, ‘Entity Management’ in response to her enquiry, I’d have had to deal with another grave problem – her doubts on whether I went to work in an actual office!

Thus began a modest attempt to help her understand how I put food on the table. If the ensuing dialogue and its contents appear very basic (at times, silly too!), you know there is a very good reason. And so it goes….

Amma: Exactly, what is it that you do at work?

I: Amma, this will take a while. Do you have the time to stay with me on this? (Amma is usually busy being part of a local Bhajan group. So busy, we have, on occasions asked her to put up a schedule indicating when she was likely to be home!)

Amma (appears upset): Ok, go ahead.

I: So, remember Arcade Library and the huge collection of books they shelved?

Books = Entities

Amma: Yes, what about it?

I: Imagine walking into one such library. Think of the huge collection of books neatly organized into sections of shelves and clearly labelled. Now why do you think that an organization or structure as such is required?

Entities are meticulously categorized into a thoroughly deliberated, well-laid out structure - Business -> Sub-Business -> Process -> Sub-process -> Input/Output -> Task -> Segment -> SOP -> Role

Amma: Discipline, silly! They can’t have books strewn around like your clothes and accessories.

I: Amma! (chants, “cool it, cool it”)

Amma: It is difficult to find a given book when a customer asked for it, isn’t it?

I: Well said Amma. Yes, it helps to know which corner of what block of which aisle houses a given book. Now, how do you think a librarian knows that sitting behind a desk and looking at a huge collection, sometimes thousands in number?

The organisation houses over 140000 such entities (and still counting)

Amma: I remember the lady at Arcade library making entries of books that came in and went out in a register.

I: Correct. Now replace that register with a computer that can deftly manage books running into thousands.

Enterprise Architecture has laid the path to managing the voluminous entities at MyWork. Access to entities is centrally managed and a UI (in the works as I draft this) keeps a tab on the in-tray and out-tray.

Amma: Ok, so are you saying that you are that guy behind the desk?  Are you a librarian now? Do you realize how much money we poured into your education? This is what you’ve become – a librarian?!?!?

I (red, but covers up with a chuckle): No Amma, stay with me. We will get there in a bit. Now back to the library, what kind of books go into a library?

Amma: Depends on the kind of library it is, doesn’t it? A library can house all kinds of books but if it is a school library, it doesn’t have to house movie magazines, books on fashion etc. Those are not of any significance to it.

Only those entities that are of significance and/or add value to the organisation have been identified as entities. Everything in the world as we know it and conceivable worlds beyond it is an entity. But we chose only those that are pertinent to the organization.

I: Brilliant! There are different kinds of libraries – Public, School, Special (like Hospitals, Corporations, Museums, Military, Government, Private businesses etc).

Amma: Right. Wonder what happens inside a multi-purpose library though, where books of various subjects are housed.

I: That is where theories like the Dewey Decimal System are engaged. So books are classified into 10 broad classes:

            000 – Computer Science, Information and general works

            100 – Philosophy and Psychology

            200 – Religion

            300 – Social sciences

            400 – Language

            500 – Science

            600 – Technology and Applied Sciences

            700 – Arts and recreation

            800 – Literature

            900 – History and geography

55 such classes that cut through the organization have been identified. It is significant to note here that ‘Activity’ provides the fulcrum to the entire Entity arrangement.

Each of the classes is assigned a category number (as above) and a cutter number/s to the right of the decimal point. This is referred to as a Call Number.

Each of these classes has 10 sub-classes and each sub-class has 10 sub-divisions, the objective being to narrow search down to the last book. The purpose of Call Numbers is to group books of the same subject together. So here’s a sample for a book on American fiction literature written between 1861 and 1900 (the highest class being coded 800)

81: indicates American literature in general

811: Indicates American poetry

812: Indicates American drama

And so on…

So for example, Sample collection as an activity has been mapped to Business -> Sub-Business -> Process -> Sub-process -> Input/Output -> Task -> Segment -> SOP -> Role. Some activities have extended headers depending on the scope. Each of these headers are identified by unique codes as laid out in the organisation’s Spirit&Letter and Blueprint

Numbers after the decimal usually indicate the year the book was first written. In essence, 814.4 points to a book on American literature -> Essays -> written between 1861 and 1900. More the numbers, specific the subject of a book.

Sample this: TS-15-01-LRN-KC-10001 indicates the place of origin, year, version, business, entity name, count of a given entity.

Amma (sounding impatient): Ok, where are we going with this?

I: So imagine the diverse and massive knowledge that roughly 1500 people of our organization hold. All of that knowledge is in the mind of each of the employees. There has to be a way to put that knowledge in a meaningful and organized fashion. That way, anyone in the organization can use the knowledge of any function, anytime. See how transparent the entire organization will thus become. Everybody knows what another is doing at any given time.

Amma (appears to submit): Hmm! (That could go either way. Thankfully, her next question saved my day).

Amma: Now how does a library know how to select and shelve a given book?

I: Good question, that’s why a thorough analysis of the subject of the book is required to slot it into one of the main, sub-classes and the several sub-divisions.

Extreme caution has been taken to define an entity and only those entities of significance were taken into count.

Amma (all warmed up now): So what of similar subjects but by different authors – how do they get shelved?

I: So remember when we talked of classes, we talked of the subject, subject being the binding factor. So a library may create sections in aisles that are dedicated to a given subject but by different authors. This is somewhat similar to, let’s say, the aisle named ‘Cosmetics’ at our local supermarket – same product, different manufacturers.

As discussed above, an activity forms the central point of the Entities framework. Its relationships with other entities such as Tasks, Segments, Measures, SOPs, Process etc are clearly laid out. So while a given activity may appear across businesses, its relationships with other entities sets it apart.

Amma: When housefull, how does a library accommodate a new book, especially, a sought after one?

I: So they may move dated and non-moving books to a godown and maintain them in good condition, just in case someone asked for them in future.

Entities that have undergone change in structure, content and/or relevance are decommissioned and archived. Such entities are only a click away and can be invoked at any time during the life cycle of entities.

In toto, EM is all about identifying an entity of significance, establishing its relationships and maintaining (modifying/retiring) it throughout a life cycle. The organization is divided into three distinct groups – Services Businesses, Services Delivery and Support businesses. The preamble to Enterprise Architecture is to capture, maintain and consume (as required) the knowledge cutting across these businesses.

Just when I think the game is over, here’s another one right into the block hole…

Amma: So where do you feature amidst all of this? What do you do?

I: My job is to manage the in-tray and the out-tray. We have a very easy-to-use system that helps keep track of what comes in and what goes out.

Amma: Did you have to identify all of those 140000 whatever you talked about earlier? (One could sense a hint of amazement in the tone)

I: No Amma, we worked as a team, studied each of the businesses, partnered with various people, consulted for content etc. Two years in the making!

Entity framework setup entailed collection of screens, knowledge components, marketing collaterals, messages, drug compositions, consumables, equipment information and many many more grouped eloquently into Hard assets and soft assets, people and Finance.

Amma: Who tells the librarian about new books or books that need to go away?

I: Usually, the librarian is partnered with authors, publishers and so is on top of things. That’s how they know.

Entities will be identified through org-wide projects that may require a new set up and/or changes to the existing ones. Triggers run through to the various stakeholders that initiate these projects, run through QCheck, inform the EM team and release to production from time to time.

I: So Amma, that’s what I do.

Amma: Isn’t this similar to Knowledge Management?

I (Agape): WHAT? HOW? WHO? WHEN?

Amma: O well, our neighbor does the same thing. We had a long chat on this a while ago.

I (still agape)

Amma: Why didn’t you just say it. Wasted my time. Cha!

I (battered and bruised, feels a sudden rush of existential crisis) ….

Disclaimer: Entities Management is only a function of the larger Enterprise Architecture framework in the organization. Additionally, I have not gone into the depths of the various transactions that are interspersed in the process. Several significant and times, draft processes have been deliberately omitted to keep the discussion short. This is only an attempt to initiate one into the organisation’s Knowledge Management structure.

Tomorrow is dying!

Dear God,

About nine years to the month, amidst global recession, I sat in a dimly lit cubicle and wondered, when...when...! The only certainty back then was ambiguity. Every day I went back to work to no work, news of friends who were suddenly let go of and businesses pulling the plug off the hitherto successful offshoring campaigns. Every day I went back to work wondering if it were my last! During the final days of the said, I'd turned numb; almost nothing affected me. And when the day did come, I was a relieved man. Economic downturn had claimed yet another head. At least the ambiguity had ended.

Cut to the day, ambiguity has raised its ugly head again. This time too, owing to another global phenomenon. Only this time, mankind is staring at the onset of a parallel and perhaps indomitable intelligence - AI. As I draft this, some of the big names globally, have been laying off massive chunks of human capital to make way for machines. Only this time, organisations may not be worried about costs; machines are more than equipped to perform repetitive and redundant jobs, in no time and at almost half the costs.

I'd like to reiterate 'onset' here. For this is just the start. And any activity that requires a human being will most certainly be devoured by machines. Look around and everything from a straw to the skyscrapers is man-made. Get the picture? There are absolutely no limits to what AI can do. Funny! we are able to clearly lay out the future of machines, machines that we developed while being egregiously unclear of our own.

In a span of just 9 years, I along with many of my ilk have witnessed two major milestones (devastations? sure). We did recover from the former, paying dearly through possessions, calling off marriages/engagements, forfeiting insurance plans, major savings etc. The latter has only just begun. Wonder what else could happen. Yet, there is one optimism that remains - Hope. There was hope then and there is only hope now.

Thank you for listening.

Where is the kind bystander?

I: "Bhaiyya, yeh kahan padta hai?" flashing out a piece of paper with an address.

The kind soul round the bend: "Siddha jaao, doosre chowraste pe Majjid hai, Majjid kane se right leke kamaan ke andhar se teesra right. Khareeb khareeb 3 km padta yahan se".

Dear God,

A typical exchange when locating an address. Hyderabadi gullies and their unending complexities can be truly overwhelming and at times, scary too. If you were having a bad day, heck! they may seem like points of no return!

Not when the friendly, kind bystander is around though. The dialogue above should give you an idea of how well he knows these bylanes and the precision with which he can lead you to your destination.

But not anymore, Google Maps, SIRI and their ilk have made in-roads here too. Something about men and directions - our egos never let us ask for directions. That is slowly but surely turning true with the advent of the digital era.

Today the said apps take me straight to my destination providing a running commentary through the course, with the same (mostly, better too) precision that the kind bystander was equipped with.

Yet another death, yet another opportunity for communication lost to time!

The kind bystander is no more....

Who the hell is running this place?!?!

Dear God,

Sunday's debate has caused a stir, so unprecedented and of such a magnitude in political circles of not just the US but also in countries that are closely following an impending change at the White House.

A lot is being said for, against and about the sparring probables. The now infamous video that went public last week has gotten the bigwigs within the GOP to distance themselves from Trump. And as I write this, I gather that there are many more who want to keep him at bay.

Less than 30 days from the Big day and with Trump losing faith (swiftly at that) within his party, a few questions piqued my interest - What now, what next, where does GOP go from here, does Trump still continue work and most importantly, who fills in for Trump if his nomination were to be cancelled?

A bit of reading around the web got me a few possibilities. Apparently, there has never been a situation as such and hence there isn't (or so it seems) a clear solution to any of the afore-stated wringers.

It all boils down to three possibilities, as I understand - A) the candidate is rendered incapacitated, B) is deceased or C) withgoes the race by own volition. With less than a month away, fielding another candidate who can amass the kind of support that Trump has from citizens and party workers alike is going to be an implausible task. Be that as it may, will GOP still bet on Mike Pence to conjure up something?

Knowing Trump and closely following his comments after the second debate, it seems unlikely that C) were an option at all. His confidence, I suspect, is at an all-time high. He looks ever-more resilient and unwilling to quit just yet. In recent times, he and his team of medical practitioners have emphatically insisted on his pristine medical condition, weight issues, notwithstanding. And so, dare I say, A) is ruled out too.

I believe, there is another possibility. That Trump runs for office nonetheless and should he win, he is persuaded to accede office to his running mate, who in turn assumes office as a caretaker President with full powers.

That possibility, in the meanwhile, gives GOP the necessary time to huddle up and make some crucial amends.

All of this leaves me amazed at how a perceived, near-impossible event can truly stump even the most powerful nation on the planet and leave its law makers and policy books delinquent and inadequate!

Of morals

Dear God,

Circa 2 million years ago - As per a 2013 post on LiveScience, the earliest evidence of ancient human ancestors hunting and scavenging meat.

Picture heads of two families sparring over a recent kill. Before long, they are at each others' throats over who takes home the spoils. In the meantime, the shrewd and ever opportunistic Hyena is seen slinking away with the prized catch.

As the head hunters watch in dismay, they are compelled to come to a sharing agreement for all eventual kills (I guess, through gestures).Obviously, they realise that it benefits to talk and mutually agree on terms than let either party starve. And thus began the long course of sharing as we know it today.

Such and many more agreements that followed were classified into virtues, morals, codes of conduct etc. 

Begs the following questions:

1. did you design the situation? 

2. were you there as a pacifist propounding that theory of sharing with the neighbour?

3. what triggered the sharing agreement - common sense?

4. did you thus introduce common sense?

One may come to a reasonably sane conclusion that values, morals, principles et al. mostly (I daresay, always) arise out of changing times, circumstances and most importantly, convenience.

As with evolution, all the aforesaid adjectives (values, morals...) always existed. Some will retire, extend and yet others will be born. A trigger was all it required for them to kick in. Of course, therefore, it may be increasingly futile to qualify something right or wrong. Only relevance will remain and count.

To that effect, may I therefore say (with caution) that if one attributes the adjectives to you, as do many I know, they are wrong. Horribly wrong!

Correct me.

Just another working day

Dear God,

It has been a while (more than, actually) since I did anything worth a mention. Amongst several reasons, a catalyst to the preceding sentence is a recent change in work location.

Office has now moved farther by 8 kms. As a result, the distance one way to work is 28 kms. It is no longer a simple "going to work" day. Actually, you will appreciate by the end of this precis why it feels like going to the gallows and back, only to go back again!

As if the number 56 weren't stressful enough, the actual ride makes it worse. Let's start with Traffic, the good old, disciplined Hyderabadi traffic. A 5-10 min deviation from the start time at home means you can kiss punctuality goodbye. Because by 8.30 in the AM, the roads are spilling over with people from all over. Certainly, one in every household is riding to an extreme end of the city everyday.

Back to the traffic situation. So it is like going into battle constantly maneuvering the bike, navigating through tapered lanes and sometimes over namesake roads. A bit on the roads here. They are, as you will know, a facade. Can you put your finger on one good stretch in all of the twin cities? They are perennially punctuated with potholes and speed breakers. Rains just add a new dimension to the non-existent roads here. Islands of stagnated water here, overflowing potholes there, all make for a joyous ride. Appa, on one of those rare occasions quipped that having ridden these roads, it is going to be impossible to ride on a 'good' road, if that were ever to happen!

If that didn't put fear in you, here's who makes it eventful - the good old, Hyderabadi. Pedestrians, drivers and all others in the taxonomy seem to have it taken upon themselves to stop me from reaching on time. Spit missiles, cigarette buds shooting out of car or bus windows is commonplace. Traffic jams on the main lane provide for a rare sighting - motorists plying on walkers' tracks or sidewalks! You know what they say about the Hyderabadi - idhar chala liye, to kahin bhi chala lete - loosely, if you can manage riding here, you can ride anywhere else too. I say, true that! Pedestrians and two-wheelers especially, can interject when you least expect it and worse, when you cannot engage brakes in time! A unintentional nudge here or an inadvertent move can at the least, get you snarls, the kinds that can drain the blood streams, leaving you blanched. In extreme cases, it can help update your expletives' lexicon. Your immediate kith and kin are fondly recalled in sweet Dakhni.

After all this, I get to work in a little over the usual 1h 30m. Battled and bruised, I hope for a smooth day. "Ram! why haven't you completed the document yet?" The familiar greeting of the Boss!

Ciao, until next time!

Of petty jibes

Dear God,

So on one occasion a while ago, at dinner with Mentor, we were going round the table introducing ourselves and sharing our interests/hobbies.

When we got to me, I proudly said that I was learning how to play the Violin. A holier-than-thou, smart Alec quipped, "Even villains in our movies play the Violin these days"!! Yes, that was totally unprecedented and unwarranted. Worse, it wasn't remotely amusing, if that was the intent.

But guess who came to my rescue. Mentor, no less! He was quick to retort, almost like a slap in the face, "But Einstein played the Violin too, didn't he?" The look on smarty pants' face......priceless!

Revelry in mythical rivalry

So, it is done and dusted. Can we now move on please?

Dear God,

I know of quite a few ecstatic people revelling in last night's victory against Pakistan. Some claiming personal gratification out of the record we retained (6-0). In the run-up, jokes were running rife across ads and dissections in news sections. Social media was flooding with trolls of our cousins' dubious WC record.

Going by the news coverage, the entire country seemed to have been smitten with patriotism and overwhelmingly at that. I recall a nasty troll in the build-up to the clash, "Bhai, Pakistan se jeet jao, WC nahi jeet sake to naa sahi" (Beat Pakistan, so what if we didn't win the WC again?).

Begs the questions, what goes on in the mind of the populi that aggravates tensions across either sides of the border during face-off? After all these years, have we still not moved on? Aren't there more formidable teams (like SA, Aus) that constantly pose a threat to our rankings and thereby demoralise our unit? What's with this undying obsession over performing well against each other all the time? How come the gut doesn't work as well with the teams in brackets?

In all fairness, last evening, we met and pulverised a team that was by no measure a WC winning team. Over half of the team was inexperienced. The captain of the ship himself hasn't scored a one-day century yet, even as he stares at sunset at 41. Says a lot about the capability of the unit, doesn't it?Shahid Afridi, the only other experienced campaigner almost always battles expectations of being a pinch hitter.He wasn't any different last evening gifting his wicket away.

Let us also not kid ourselves by our own performance. 300 is not exactly an enviable score given latest one-day trends. Look at Ireland and how they destroyed the West Indies. They made 300 look like a bad joke. We conveniently dashed hopes of touching 325 despite sitting comfortably on good starts by the top order. In fact, after Dhoni, we were a mere pack of cards delivering right the Domino's effect.

And our bowling strength (*sigh*) struggled to clean up the tail (again!!) despite their inexperience. So yes, we can celebrate last night's win but it was to me, Pyrrhic. Our bowlers were clearly exposed and the batsmen beyond Kohli, are for all practical purposes, non-existent.

To all my friends who derive this cheap thrill out of beating our cousins from across the border, might I remind that WC is not only about an IND v PAK encounter. I'd be as humiliated and bruised as Pak is today, if not more, if we didn't truly look like the defending champions. Trust me, we don't remotely look the part as on date.

An acid test awaits us on the 22nd when we meet the mighty Proteas. To my mind, our performance on that day will establish our intent and commitment to retain the cup. Or realistically, even getting through to the quarters. 

Like MSD mentioned at the presser, it is time we moved on from what now seems like a non-existent rivalry, mostly stoked by media and the petty politics in the background.

Abhi pathaakon ka waqt nahin aaya!

AAP se anurodh!

Dear God,

As I file this, I learn that the AAP is hinting at forming a Government in DEL. Whose support, how etc are not in yet.


Kind attn: Mr. Arvind Kejriwal

Dear Mr. Kejriwal,

Trust all’s well.

I am amongst your harshest critics. It has, I assure you, no bearing on your methods or ideology as much as it does on politics and governance in this country.

That I have never written to any other outfit despite the vitriol they have brought about in the country and chose to write to you is testimony; testimony that the country and citizens saw a glimmer, a glimmer of positive optimism and brighter days ahead through the AAP.

It is with that very hope that I feel compelled to write to you about your stance on taking the podium in Delhi. AAP’s mainstay has been activism and relentless opposition to the order of the day – lawlessness, red-tapism and corruption abound! People of this vast expanse walked with you solely on that premise with faith of a better, brighter tomorrow.

Your showing at the recent polls took everyone by surprise, mostly pleasantly. A simple outfit with very simple but focused ideals was long overdue. How you would deliver on the electricity and water problems would make for an intellectual debate on another day. People sitting in the comforts of their cosy couches, especially the armchair critics suddenly took notice.

I think you owe it to this nation and its people. It is time to pay back.

In the wake of the quandary over who forms Government, here are a few observations/questions:

1.    If your agenda pivoted on an anti-Congress and anti-BJP promise, swaying this way or that is clear betrayal. You will be going against people’s mandate.
2.   By leaving a window of opportunity (the 18 points of contention, 10 days to consider etc), you’ve managed to create useless ambiguity.
3.    Do you really see a need to seek vox populi now to help you decide?
4.    On one occasion, you’d rightly pointed out that in Politics, nothing can be unconditional, then why this tentative stand?
5.    Besides, a sway this way would mean pro-corruption and that way would mean pro-communalism. Must I remind you that the country is fraught with communally opportunistic and opportunistically communal forces?
6.    So what if there are fresh elections, so what if it costs the exchequer and so what if you have to seek a fresh mandate? The costs and efforts thus incurred would be toward a good cause. Surely, it can’t get worse than the quantum of money we lost by way of scams.

I’d scarcely worry about fortunes in case of a fresh mandate. You were a big hit at a time when you were a ‘write-off’. A more convincing swing in your favour is the only likely outcome. Also, it is a very beautiful problem to have. Just when you wondered how you’d fulfill your promises, you are getting an extension up until the next general elections.

In my view, this is the time for you to sit back, retrospect and plan ahead. I hope you didn't think Delhi was your horizon. Real conquests lie within the remotest, hitherto untouched regions of our country. It is time to strategise and make public your next steps in governance. Do I need to remind you that you have far too many headaches to deal with, keeping in mind your manifesto?

Summarily, these should be your first few steps:

a.     Meet India Inc., the real engines of growth.
b.     Decentralize AAP, identify and field strong regional forces that carry your message forward
c.     Reinforce your presence on Social media, keep the country posted
d.    Get to know the Country, travel aggressively. India still lives in its villages!
e.     The party’s political inexperience was in full public view with the recent stir that Mr. Bhushan caused. This could also be the time for you to brainstorm on party ideals, bring about a consistency in tone and opinions.
f.      The country is facing grave crises – Sexual offences, gender discrimination, partition of states etc. What are your thoughts on these and various others?

Do give it a thought. Trust me you may not even have begun. There is a long way to go, miles to walk…

In the interim, I remain your harshest critic!

Chennai Express: A man-made catastrophe

Chennai Express: The future of Indian Cinema – crass, tasteless, humiliating and definitely worrying. My polite two bits to explain why…

Dear God,

Let’s start with some good points and the myriad not-so, this fare presented…

Like: Popcorn, Trailers, Interval, exchanging texts, Kumbakonam, Sathyaraj (despite the modicum role), gyrations by Priyamani and Deepika P.

Dislike: Everything else interspersed between the above.

SRK: After Chak de, my respect for him has only dwindled. Chennai Express brought it to a head. Thankfully, this movie establishes his age upfront but his histrionics still make you want to believe he is the tried and tested Rahul from yesteryears. In almost every frame (again!!!!), he turns out to be a damp squib.

Sathyaraj: The delightful but highly underrated Sathyaraj is wasted. What was he thinking when he signed up for this non-existent story!?!

Deepika P: Probably the only part of the movie that looked good!!!! Deepika’s Tamil was hardly convincing. If you thought all Tamilians’ve gotten their masculine and feminine genders confused, you are wrong!

The DDLJ, Antakshiri sequences couldn’t conjure up a smile. Lame lines intended to be funny like SRK’s sheepish, “Woh meri seat hai, my seatum!” or “Lekin, main!” when asked to go to Rameshwaram. “Main” what?

“Don’t underestimate the power of a common man” doesn’t found funny by any means. I guess the maker of this movie understood it and sooner than later replaced it with an even ridiculous “Don’t underestimate the common of a power man” Really!

Overall, the movie was humiliating, especially since the intended and unintended humour was targeted at Tamilians. Tamilians do not speak Hindi the way the movie depicts. Why, most Tamilians do not even speak the national language with all the political shenanigans at play.

What’s up with Chenaai?!?! Or Thaangabali?!?!?

Plot: why bother! Besides if you left your brains at home, does it matter?

That I contributed to the 100 Cr., the movie earned in its opening week irks me the most.

To friends, fair-weather and genuine well wishers, who urged me to leave my brains home before the fare, I pity you! Haven’t we seen madder and yet thoroughly enjoyable movies like Andaaz Apna Apna or Dhamaal?

To some others who provided their highly insightful, “after hours of hard work, I want to relax and watch a light movie”, you’ve gotten it wrong. You endure slime throughout the day and then close it with more slime doled out by a mindless crew. Only in the former, you get paid!

So how does one express ire towards CE and its ilk? – Boycott them or watch the pirated version.                            

                                   
                                                Issued in Public Interest

The bane of being a woman in India

“You go sit on the Kitchen floor!” Athaipatti condescendingly orders my sister to vacate her seat for me at the dining table. Later Amma tells me that old timers like her always preferred boys to girls for progeny. Poor Lalitha moved without protest.

Visiting a good friend’s home, I find his mother sitting on a mat laid out in the corner of the hall. A plate and tumbler are set aside for her. Upon inquiry I learn that she is “outside” for a set period. It is only later in time that I understand what it meant. A typical feature of the South Indian household, women have to endure this bizarre outcast-like treatment from menarche up until menopause, month after month. Episodically, they are considered impure and are not allowed to touch anything or anyone at home!

A family acquaintance, Doctor by profession, we learn later in life was violated by a group of men as an act of retribution aimed at her husband. If you asked Amma, she’d say that the lady was ‘spoilt’!

...My first memories of discrimination at home, growing up. Women across this great nation have, sadly, always resigned to fate when oppressed. Isn’t home the start to gender equality, respect for each other, education and empowerment?

Picture the typical company boardroom setup. The hosting VP calls for updates from across the room. When the lone lady presents her version, admittedly a bit sheepishly, the VP almost unflinchingly says, “Stick it up!” Cut to a similar setup, different company and different time. Women here are a minority. During an ensuing discussion, the MD makes a fleeting remark, “Sab Chutiye hain!”unmindful of the women seated around. Leave alone chivalry, basic etiquette was lacking, a clear sign of poor upbringing.

            In both of the aforementioned instances, the ladies either wore a stoic look or simply withdrew into a shell.

“F***, in time, you wouldn’t have to manage these babes. You are meant for a different role”, the Boss announces nonchalantly referring to my team of ladies. Thankfully, not in their presence!

Bapuji had once famously stated that India would be truly independent the day her womenfolk are able to walk uninhibited and fearless at midnight. That, unfortunately, is not a timeless piece. Women here, irrespective of age and time of day are liberally violated. Beyond doubt, even Bapuji would have been put to shame.

The movie Matrubhoomi: A Nation without Women (2003) is a futuristic take on a hamlet in North India that is inhabited by men alone. Thanks to every newborn girl child being sacrificed, men are left to double up for chores that are typically associated with women – cleaning, cooking, drawing water from wells etc. The men here are so frustrated that they resort to bestiality to douse the heat within. A family of 5 brothers is married to one woman in exchange for a sum. The ensuing horror is left to your imagination. The highpoint of the movie is in the total disregard for the woman except when in bed.

Internal party politics and apparent misogyny from various quarters persuaded the premier of a nation recently to step down in full public glare. That she did so with poise and dignity makes for a full-length blog. Other than the famed quartet in our country, why do you not see very many women in high places?

Out on the streets, men are killed (recall the Kegan-BBY incident) for protecting women. The opposite sex is a mere means to let off steam on-the-go (recall the Delhi rape incident)

Media does its bit in conveniently glamourising and de-glamourising her (recall the Arushi Talwar, Priyadarshini Mattoo, Jessica Lal cases). All of these ladies were widely reported in heightened frenzy. Whatever happened to those cases, no clue! Sheilas, Chikni Chamelis and their ilk have contributed abundantly to her commodification.

Dear God, 

Who am I to offer solutions? But I do have the right to share common sense. This plague of discrimination can be eradicated only through an all-round effort. Education, enforcement, enlightenment, empowerment et al need be packaged abundantly and appropriately. Castration, Electric chair, Hanging etc may not necessarily be deterrents.

Thottam house weakens!

Around 1984
“Koshava! Koshakumbara!”, the ever-rambunctious Ramettan chases the naughty lad (all of 6 years). Eventually the chase ends and Ramettan fondly embraces the lad. Favourite amongst all of Amma’s siblings, Ramettan always does his best to keep the lad and his sister in good spirits.

                                                                                                                                        

Around 1984 too
Chief amongst Ramettan’s chores is tending to the Cow and her calf. Every morning presents an invite to the lad to hop onto Ramettan’s able shoulders and scamper around Chandrashekarapuram. “Bada, bada!” Ramettan yells during the rounds.

                                                                                                                                 

Since first memories
“Mottai! Poovu parichiya?”The moniker (Mottai is a tonsured head, a custom followed upon the death of an elder) held good for either of the fraternal twins – Rama and Lakshmana. They acquired the name after the sad demise of Swarnam – Thottam house’s matriarch. Every morning, the twins take turns to tidy the numerous deities that adorned the ‘Swami room’. Flowers dotted the 21 cent-premise of Thottam house and every morning a sample of each would be presented at your feet.

                                                                                                                            


With time

Changing tides witness Ramettan switch over to medicine, as a med-representative. Every morning after the ritualistic ‘poojai’, he’d put on the un-ironed shirt over the ‘veshti’, hop over the ancient Hercules and race up to ‘paadhai’ (for convenience sake, the main road). Hardworking, he’d return only after an arduous 12-14 hrs at work. Sundays were meant for extra money via the occasional catering services’ call. A recent payslip (more like a crumb) reads his salary – Rs. 5121/- after all deductions!!!! How does one survive on such a paltry income in the 21^st century! Between managing a falling house, a kid’s school and tuition fees and some meager savings, there is only so much.

                                                                                                                                              

1-Aug-2013

The peace across his face is palpable. And yet, even as he undertakes the sojourn from Thottam House, you can feel the energy, see him smile! It is time, time to get out of the make-shift bed and undertake a whole new journey. Amidst raging fires, Ramettan departs!

                                                                                                                                           

Dear God, 

Ramettan would present himself at the station every trip (to and fro). Fond memories of that radiant smile added to the promise of a pleasant stay at Thottam House.  August 2012 was the last time he'd be at the station. A terrible accident had rendered him unconscious for over 24 hours until death became him. ‘Ettan’ (read Ayton) is a common Malayali address for the elder.  I will miss the affection, the warmth you showered upon me, Raman Mama. You are like the vital limb that is now lost. Coming home to Thottam is never going to be the same again. 

Memories are all that remain. The above mentioned are, but, just fragments.

Despite several hardships, I cannot recall one instance when he stretched his hand out for help. Such was his steadfast grit. It was in his character to be cheerful and spread cheer. Pity! you needed him earlier than his time. 

Tertium comparationis

Dear God,

A recent conversation centered on true freedom, led me to a surprise finding. I may be wrong in my assessment. Nonetheless.

We are often weighed down by obligations, expectations, deadlines and responsibilities. Endless wants and desires only add to the misery. So what does one do - give up on material life and embrace hermitage? What about those who are dependent on you? What is to become of them?

Through the conversation, I kept thinking what else could be persuading us to live this kind of a life. If it was only a matter of relinquishing materialism and adopting total austerity, all of us may have done and lived it already. But even in austerity, the attachment remains - to meditation, to solitude, to wandering, to giving etc. So what makes a hermit different from me?

I realized that consciousness could probably be the culprit here. Because I am so aware of what is and isn't, I make choices. But imagine the mentally delinquent (I don't mean that offensively at all). He wanders aimlessly, lives for the day and enjoys his hard earned meal (albeit by begging). There is no societal pressure, no expectations, no one awaiting his return. Yet he lives - unmindful of the world around him and unconscious of anything.

I guess, the infant is a fine parallel - full of joy and glee until natural progression...

Consciousness, the killer in us!

Dear Prannoy Babu....

Dear God,

I have been looking up options to get this letter to Prannoy Roy. Twitter and FB give me only so much space. See if you can do something.

Thanks much!


Dear Prannoy Babu,


For the record, I started following 24X7 because your newscasters/scroller didn't yell at me. 24X7 provided the escape route from your competition whose USP is scream to open headlines, scream Breaking news and most importantly, thrust views on the audience. Worse still, at the end of the 9 o'clock broadcast, the head honcho of one of the leading news channels spells out his expert (read useless) advice on the topic that was covered. Yet another channel pits clowns from various quarters, gets them to fight and hurl epithets while the opinionated facilitator would mouth "Why can't you be honest?"


Now your channel did two things initially which attracted my patronage - did not sell news/opinions to me and most importantly, didn't yell at me. Also, you reserved your services for genuine exclusives.


It is with regret now though that I write to you about the failing standards at 24X7 too. Hitherto, your trump card is where my disgust starts. She seems to think of herself as the conscience keeper of the nation. We the people are mighty frustrated with an opinionated facilitator who derides panelists if their thoughts are not populist and who compulsively opines after every panelist's/participant's statement. In-a-sense is oft abused especially when her statements open and close with it. Her style of reporting is passe and cliched at best. Take for instance, her show on Robert Vadra. The questions asked were based on fictitious ideas. Hardly researched, it is inconsequential to the audience if he is ready to join politics yet or what his wife, mom-in-law and brother-in-law think of his foray. Throughout the course of the show, she kept pressing on questions based purely on conjectures and media's imagination. Or that episode covering 10 years of Godhra - she wipes tears while empathizing with the victim and family. Reporting ethics! Hello!?!?!


All of your newscasters are stylized on the aforementioned she, 'in-a-sense'. So much so that I have observed that some of your newscasters openly mimic her statements and posture on various shows. Highly distracting to say the least, I lose focus on news items and/or the panelists' views. 


Sir, a lot of stress is being laid on content, material and self-restraint. While that continues to be a challenge across most leading news channels in our country, I feel that is still secondary to the standard of newscasters. Barring a noteworthy few (Keshulay Bhattacharjee, Nidhi Razdan, Radhika Iyer, Priyanka Kakodkar and Pallav Bagla), I am afraid the rest are either clones or just dumb bimbettes with no prior contextual knowledge of a subject. Pronunciations, especially regional, sound pathetic coming from some of these clowns. A few of the newscasters leave long interludes between two words leaving one to wonder if they were choked. A few others lay unnecessary stress on words that hardly need any. Let's reserve content for another day. But may I interest you with an earlier precis here and a fellow blogger's thoughts here


A generation has grown up watching a classy Prannoy casting news in a manner exclusive to him alone. That be the case, is it unfair to expect his channel to be modelled after him? I do not know of your interest in day-to-day operations but if you take feedback seriously and would like to champion the cause of journalism (in its truest form), it is time for you to sit up, take notice and bring about a change in your system


I remain, yours sincerely.

Eat it!

Dear God,

It was such a treat watching Mani Shanker Aiyar devouring Nirmala Seetharaman on last evening's episode of 'Left, Right and Center'.

In his words, "If we don't come to power, which is highly unlikely.....but Nirmala will continue to air her views from your studios" and "I can understand the opposition to the NAC but can't understand Nirmala's ignorance on the subject".

I am afraid I am becoming a fan of his. Hard nosed and snotty individuals deserve this treatment. Maybe I am perceptive and opinionated, but I don't appreciate the way Nirmala speaks. She is highly irritating.

Another name that I truly respect is Manish Tiwari. Amazing diction and what command over the language! His duels with Ravishankar Prasad are a treat. There is always some new phrase, idiom or a word to pick from his statements.

Advantage Tennis

Dear God,

Regardless of the result, Sunday will witness History being made at Center Court.

All of Switzerland and perhaps all of Center Court will hope for a Champion to equal a record. Metaphorically, Federer will therefore walk toe-to-toe with his predecessor, the great Sampras. My generation will witness a hallmark event in the sport, a phenomenon that may not be destined for the less fortunate subsequent. So much so, Federer may become synecdochial to Tennis.

On the other hand, Britannia will hope that its favourite child and No.1 will persuade a shift in how the world views England's contributions. Will Sunday be kind to a nation that has been oppressed in most forms of sport - Cricket, Tennis, Football alike? Given his recent form (esp the adorable drop shots and court coverage), Murray looks most able.

As you are aware, I am not a big fan of numbers, stats or trends. Performance on a given day supersedes all else. With Murray, though, I have an emotional connect. A side to me wants Murray to win, not only for the grandeur but also for Britannia's redemption (after 76 years!).

I will, however, let the outcome (irrespective) override the emotion.

Play!

What's in a name?

Dear God,

A certain computer manufacturer has named their next, 'Envy'. Nice, don't be surprised if you see products being named after the other deadly sins too!

Sample these -

1. Floating Tongues for an Ice cream parlour!!! (thankfully, that building was recently torn down). I'd hate walking past a joint named as such.

2. 4Play for a bargain basement. Come on! what were they thinking?!?!


Exactly what the idea is behind such macabre and sick naming conventions, is beyond me! I guess we simply have to resign to the brazen times we live in. 


What's in a name? Ho ho ho, a whole lot!

Senicide

Dear God,

A recent discussion led to forced euthanasia in India, predominantly practiced in the villages of Tamil Nadu. Thalaikoothal, a barbaric and a stone-age practice is the killing of the elderly who are now a burden on the family. It involves an early morning oil-bath followed by a diet of just coconut water. The victim is not given anything else to eat or drink. The result is high fever and death in 2 days. I gathered that some others have also been fed mud, congesting the alimentary canal and therefore leading to death....

I believe this practice exists, or did at one point, in many parts of the world. In ancient Japan, the elderly were taken to the mountains and abandoned to die of starvation! The impacted section - aged 70 or above.

A Tehelka sting brings to light the plight of one who escapes certain death by overhearing the scheming family in time. Yet, she doesn't whine or ire over her plight. Instead, she empathizes with the family's hardships and inability to take care of her. Another elderly would also have been a certain victim had he not run away from his family in time. Tehelka notes that this practice is endemic to the poverty-stricken villages in TN.


This is the treatment meted out to the bearers of a glorious past, to the ones who have handed down our culture, values and systems, and to the ones who may have sacrificed so much for what we are today. This, in a country that prides on respect for elders and attributes well-being and good fortune to the presence of elders in the family.

While on this, I read about a Japanese movie from 1983 - a moving tale of a mother being led to her fate by her son. En route, she leaves twigs so her son can find his way back. Truly moving! Cares for her offspring even during the last journey.

What can I say!