“You go sit on the Kitchen floor!” Athaipatti
condescendingly orders my sister to vacate her seat for me at the dining table.
Later Amma tells me that old timers like her always preferred boys to girls for
progeny. Poor Lalitha moved without protest.
Visiting a good friend’s home, I find his mother
sitting on a mat laid out in the corner of the hall. A plate and tumbler are
set aside for her. Upon inquiry I learn that she is “outside” for a set period.
It is only later in time that I understand what it meant. A typical feature of the South Indian household, women have to endure this bizarre outcast-like treatment from menarche
up until menopause, month after month. Episodically, they are considered impure
and are not allowed to touch anything or anyone at home!
A family acquaintance, Doctor by profession, we
learn later in life was violated by a group of men as an act of retribution aimed
at her husband. If you asked Amma, she’d say that the lady was ‘spoilt’!
...My first memories of discrimination at home,
growing up. Women across this great nation have, sadly, always resigned to fate
when oppressed. Isn’t home the start to gender equality, respect for each
other, education and empowerment?
Picture the typical company boardroom setup. The
hosting VP calls for updates from across the room. When the lone lady presents
her version, admittedly a bit sheepishly, the VP almost unflinchingly says, “Stick
it up!” Cut to a similar setup, different company and different time. Women
here are a minority. During an ensuing discussion, the MD makes a fleeting remark,
“Sab Chutiye hain!”unmindful of the women seated around. Leave alone chivalry,
basic etiquette was lacking, a clear sign of poor upbringing.
In
both of the aforementioned instances, the ladies either wore a stoic look or
simply withdrew into a shell.
“F***, in time, you wouldn’t have to manage
these babes. You are meant for a different role”, the Boss announces
nonchalantly referring to my team of ladies. Thankfully, not in their presence!
Bapuji had once famously stated that India would
be truly independent the day her womenfolk are able to walk uninhibited and
fearless at midnight. That, unfortunately, is not a timeless piece. Women here,
irrespective of age and time of day are liberally violated. Beyond doubt, even Bapuji would
have been put to shame.
The movie Matrubhoomi: A Nation without Women
(2003) is a futuristic take on a hamlet in North India that is inhabited by men
alone. Thanks to every newborn girl child being sacrificed, men are left to
double up for chores that are typically associated with women – cleaning,
cooking, drawing water from wells etc. The men here are so frustrated that they
resort to bestiality to douse the heat within. A family of 5 brothers is
married to one woman in exchange for a sum. The ensuing horror is left to your
imagination. The highpoint of the movie is in the total disregard for the woman
except when in bed.
Internal party politics and apparent misogyny
from various quarters persuaded the premier of a nation recently to step down
in full public glare. That she did so with poise and dignity makes for a
full-length blog. Other than the famed quartet in our country, why do you not
see very many women in high places?
Out on the streets, men are killed (recall the
Kegan-BBY incident) for protecting women. The opposite sex is a mere means to
let off steam on-the-go (recall the Delhi rape incident)
Media does its bit in conveniently glamourising
and de-glamourising her (recall the Arushi Talwar, Priyadarshini Mattoo,
Jessica Lal cases). All of these ladies were widely reported in heightened
frenzy. Whatever happened to those cases, no clue! Sheilas, Chikni Chamelis and
their ilk have contributed abundantly to her commodification.
Dear God,
Who am I to offer solutions? But I do have the
right to share common sense. This plague of discrimination can be eradicated
only through an all-round effort. Education, enforcement, enlightenment,
empowerment et al need be packaged abundantly and appropriately. Castration, Electric chair,
Hanging etc may not necessarily be deterrents.
