A trip to the city of Joy

Dear God,

Just got back from a trip to Kolkata. Ever since I got back, I have been fielding questions on the city, what it is like, the ethos, the culture etc.

To my mind, nothing sets it apart from any other Metro in our country. The sights and sounds around this place are a subtle reminder that you still belong to this great nation. As with any other place in India, Kolkata cannot do without the quintessential potholes, roads (or the lack of), traffic chokes, crammed buses, dirty surroundings etc. Nothing really different here.

Having said that, there are a few things that define this place:

1. Food - Awfully bland. Even the spiciest of dishes has to have a dash of sweet. Chilly Chicken had a funny and pretentious taste (the camouflage made it appear deceivingly HOT). Salted Lassi tasted suspiciously sweet! I am told that the food here is a reflection of the nature of people. Truly impossible for a loyal Hyderabadi to last long here.

2. Metro - Fastest, cheapest and undoubtedly, the best means of transport. The penetration though remains a lot to be desired. Also, someone pointed out that the Metro platform is supposedly the cleanest place in all of Kolkatta!

3. Weather - Perpetually sticky, regardless of the rise and fall in temperatures. I showered thrice a day in a vain attempt to stay dry and fresh,

4. Womenfolk - Dear God, you have been totally biased in saving up the best for WB. There is something about the women here, no adjective can truly measure up the beauty. I think you made up for all the lack of spice in the food here. I retained that awkward gape (exclusive to us, men) every time a thing (truly, with no disrespect) walked by. Wait a minute, are you thinking, "Thou shalt not gape"?

I am not the travel-and-explore kinds, so may be there is more to the city than met the eye. But what the heck, I liked the place nevertheless.

Ammappropisms

Dear God,

You've heard Bushisms, Sidhuisms etc. Try Ammappropisms, a portmanteau of Amma and her own appropisms.

Here are some observations I have made from time to time. Amma can come up with the wackiest, most spontaneous quip to break the ice or monotony. Be it the archetypal greeting or well-wishing, the (mis)pronunciations or the irrelevant comparisons she draws with conviction, she can have you in splits. Let me give you an example - She refers to the Great Sachin Tendulkar as "Waran Bhaath" (Marathi, for Dal-Chawal), can you beat that?!! Maybe her humour is unintentional but the spontaneity is unbelievable. What's more, most of the times, she doesn't even realize the wisecrack.

Well, here it is - Ammappropisms! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did, observing...

Names:
Karthik calling Karthik - Karthik is Kaaaalling!
Sharmaan Joshi - Idha Yidiot (Here's the Idiot, in reference to his role as one of the characters in 3 Idiots)
Ganguly - Gangowlee
Daler Mahendi - Dhalbir (Although that could be a legitimate name too)
Diana - Dayana
Joseph - Josep
Brijpal - Bridgepal
Gower - Gawar
Nine - Nayan
Degaashun Kaapi - Decoction Coffee
Shaniyanpudichavan - Md. Azharuddin, when he abandoned his first wife for Sangeeta Bijlani

Typical greeting and almost any time of the day or night
"Kunjalam, Chaaptiya?" (Kunjalam - My sister. Chaaptiya - Did you eat?)

Well wishing, again any time of the day or night
"Inniki yenna chamayal unga aathula?" (What's cooking at yours today?)

Shock
For the skimpily clad - "Poruma!?!?!" (Is that enough?)
Bipasha Basu - "Chi!!!!"

Familial connections
"Idha Mamiyaarum, Maatuponnum" - Let me do this in Hindi - "Lo, Saas aur Bahu." (In reference to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth and the Late Diana, Princess of Wales sharing screen space on a documentary.)

"Appa, Pullai, Maatuponnu, yellarum ore picherla" - Hindi again, for cheap thrills - "Baap, Beta aur Bahu saare ek hi cinema main". (In reference to the Great Amitabh Bachan, Abhishek and Aishwarya in Bunty aur Bubly.

Amusement
She gets excited looking at Sidhu laughing and jumping up and down in his chair, doesn't care two hoots for the poor stand-up comedian's efforts. (Actually, I don't blame her, it is Sidhu's uncanny knack at play again)

You've gotta see the amusement in her face when she watches the ZooZoos in action.

Diet
"Ennakku rotiyum, Sabziyum" (No matter the kind of restaurant)

Show-off
"Engaam rombo perishu. Perrikki, thodaikaradu romba kashtum" - "Ours is a big house, quite a task sweeping and mopping around". A smart way of indicating that she lives in a mansion of a flat without boasting.

"Yengaatula romba periya TV irrukku!" (Referring to our LCD, "we have a very big TV at home")

Nomenclature
Any form of Non-Vegetarian food - "Mattedu" (The other)
Snakes - Periyavaal (The elders). Don't ask me, I have never been able to figure that one out either.

Irrelevant comparisons
"Nanna oodhungo, yennaiyum engya kondu vaiyyungo" (Smoke more and hard, pledge me somewhere too)!!!!!!!!!

"Pattham class padichittu ithara periya cricketer aanaanaa?" - when she was told that the Great Sachin Tendulkar is rumoured to have studied upto Std. X

Kanathukulla kalla potamaari irundha - She remained as silent as the stone that was pelted into the well!!!

"Gavaskara paar, kutti kutti runna cheti daan 100 undakinan" - Look at Gavaskar, all of his singles used to add up to those 100s. This was in reference to her philosophy that little savings added upto the Big Money!!!!

Panacea
"Chandanam pottukko" - Apply Sandalwood paste. This held good for all ailments - topical and sub topical, regardless.

Phone skills
"Balance illai!" (No balance in my phone account) - when she were not interested in a conversation and wanted to keep it short, or when the other party didn't give Amma space to talk.
"Hello!, naan maami maatlaadutunna...." (Maami is how she announced herself to everybody, no matter how old or young, known or unknown.



All said and done, my Mommy CUTEST!!!

So long, Satyam

Dear God,

This was my "Goodbye" to Satyam....

My friend and well wisher,

You have received this email because you are one of the very few I have known and interacted with during this cathartic sojourn. Easily one of the finest individuals, you have been kind to me and helped me facilitate exchange of thoughts from time to time. Regardless of the nature of interaction or capacity, I am happy we got working together, making every endeavour a meaningful and realistic one.

You have also been the one I could relate to easily, and in no time. We may not have accomplished as much as we envisaged. All the same, my association with you will remain etched in memories for a long time to come.

Today was my last day in office. I couldn't have left here denying you the privilege of knowing that - you deserved it of all. As I write to you, my current phone number is being deactivated. I will apprise you of a new number shortly.

In the interim, please write to me on ramtherock@hotmail.com; Look me up "Aham Brahmasmi" on Facebook and Orkut. I would really like for us to be in touch.

God bless you, always.
Ram

Nadodikattu I (The Wandering Wind)

Dear God,

At long last I am back talking to you. Call it lethargy or smug, I have just not been up to anything lately.

Slowdown, job/pay cuts have left all of us drained emotionally. I needed to break free, escape to a place away from this pandemonium. An unplanned, almost overnight decision put me on a train to my hometown, Palakkad.

As I set foot in your country, I knew this was going to be a memorable and a rejuvenating trip. It had rained the night before and the aroma of Earth almost jump-started my senses.

Thottam house, the ancestral home from another century stands tall and proud in the hamlet called Chandrasekharapuram. One look at the structure tells you that it has weathered many a violent storm, has stood the test of time and has become a significant part of history and legacy. The insides have scarcely been modified ever since I have known it. Every element in the building still goes strong and carries generations of memories. I have vivid memories of scampering around the house with Thatha (Grandpa) chasing, trying to keep speed. I was born here and although spent very little time after, I have always been drawn to the house and the village folk.

Thinnai (Front yard), the house and the Kollai (Backyard) constitute to the Thottam House.

A recently modified gate that rests on two ageing (albeit, gracefully) pillars welcomes you into the Thinnai, into Thottam House. The slanting Ottuperai (Roof made of mud) forms the parasol. Thinnai is lined with plants/trees bearing flowers like Shoe flower, Lily, Bougainvillea etc. Most of the flowers are used as offerings to you during the morning Pujai (Puja). A Nellikkai (Gooseberry) maram (tree) at the foot of the Thinnai keeps popping its produce onto the Ottuperai.

The insides of the house comprise of Ullu Thinnai (Sit out space), Macchikullu (Store), Your room, Adukullu (Kitchen, there are two), rest room and Macchimellai (Attic).

Kollai (Backyard) is love beyond poetry. Dotted with tall trees and now an unused well, it is but natural for poetry to flow here. Quiet is abundant here. Trees and birds alone have the right to utterance, if any. The thicket that forms when branches embrace each other is divine abode. Coconut and Jackfruit trees are like an epidemic, really! Every house here, as elsewhere in Kerala is embellished by these trees. So we call upon Kunjuraman's services to get some coconuts down and feast on them. Kunjuraman to me is the real Spiderman, the real Superhero. He can go up the tree in almost no time and send those fruits flying down like it was a routine day in office. Oh! by the way, Kunjuraman runs errands for houses here including gardening, cleaning up wells etc. Back to his exploits, I feasted on at least three of them, along with the fruits that lined the walls inside. What thrilled me truly was that I had them for free versus having to spend about 8/- back home in the city.

"Green is the colour" goes the Pink Floyd ballad and how truly so. Hard as you might try, you cannot escape the greenery around - the Paddy fields, the trees, the hedges etc haunt you, in a good way of course! The end of the Kollai opens into the perennial Attangarai (a tributary of the great Bharatha Puzha). This is my favourite place here. I can thrive on this place, the sounds of the waters battering the rocks within, the fish biting into your legs etc. I believe the fish can bite into germ-infested wounds and heal them. The force of the current undulates onto your back giving you an almost therapeutic massage, one you cannot get at the plushest of Spas in town. There is so much to hear here - the birds, the splashes, the swaying of branches etc are nothing less than a beautiful composition. The sand encircling this beautiful stream shines in all its glory when the Sun embraces it at noon. Unfortunately, not too much of the sand is now left with realtors digging into it for construction purposes.


Part two follows.....

Wasted life

Dear Mr. Editor,

I have often believed that wavelength is a definitive and tangible term rather than just a feeling. Here's a comparison to demonstrate that:

1. Your name (Mohan Sivanand) sounds South Indian and I am a South Indian too.
2. You sport spectacles and so do I.
3. Apart from the fact that this is bread and butter, you appear to be committed to the language. This is evident from the prefaces, articles and some of your responses to emails from readers.Trust me, I have the same attitude towards English - I have written a bit (blogging) and I read a lot.
4. Considering you started your career while in Kerala, I assume that's your native. It is mine too!

Just a handful to bring out tangible coincidences. So what's the moral of the story, you ask? Well, since our wavelengths match, do you think you could get me a job at Readers' Digest?

Here are some reasons that may help you work on an answer:

1. We have been subscribing to the journal for the last 3-4 years. Avid fans of the monthly, the courier guy has been promptly delivering them at noon when dad's not home. This enables me to be the first to lay hands on it.
2. My father has gone crazy picking up those RD collectibles that will someday roll into the sweepstakes.
3. I have a profound respect for language and an undying passion for words.
4. I am between jobs and can use a job (Part time will do too) to capitalize on my skills.
5. I do not have any formal education in journalism or mass communication for fitment. All the same, I think I have a natural advantage with the language. So if you think I am worth a try, I could send you bits of what I have written in the recent past for you review.

Any role will do, I just need to be amongst words.

Let me also guess what you would do after reading this outlandish piece of junk:

1. Rubbish it like you would with any other junk you receive by the hour.
2. Share this email in a group and have a good laugh.
3. Maybe this will never even reach you, your office administrator might have a strong mind to consider this SPAM and junk it.

Sir, please help!




Of course, there was no response. I mean why would there be!!! What was I thinking.....

Dear God,

Don't let the title or the account take you aback. I am still trying to figure out why I wrote that ridiculous piece of junk - is it excess free time, joblessness or sheer foolishness? That's the email I had written to the Editor, Readers' Digest...

W.

W.

Dear God,

Last weekend, I watched this movie by Oliver Stone – a portrayal of the 43rd President of the United States of America. In retrospect, I have been trying to answer the question – Is the movie good or bad?

I am not sure if rating the movie good or bad does any justice to an honest depiction of a man, a man of myriad shades, his life and times. It is not a work of fiction and hence rating it would mean taking sides. I mean here’s a man who was and will remain etched in our memories for a long time to come for some obvious reasons and some not so. Here’s a man we have all seen and heard from time to time for his eccentricities, his frequent faux pas with language and for all the hatred he garnered for himself over time.

W’s journey through reckless and irresponsible teens, his constant disagreements with Sr., his brash behavior, aimless life, indecisiveness etc is hardly a picture one would have of a man touted to be President.

The film moves back and forth in time throughout – W’s early days vis-à-vis the most significant chapter in his life and career. Some of the scenes leave you stunned, providing an insight into what W. actually endured.

Let’s start with one of the first scenes – his life at Yale. In a scene where seniors, as part of ragging require that rookies of Delta Kappa Epsilon earn their respect and credibility, W. demonstrates an outstanding knack of naming each member of the group along with their nicknames with total precision. Call it outstanding memory or his ability to impress easily, a trait that becomes a contrast later in life when he makes enemies with even more ease.

His attributes as an irresponsible, spoilt brat comes to light when he has nothing to do after graduating out of Yale. The movie showcases his tryst with destiny in local bars, squandering money, knocking up women and basically doing everything other than what his lineage stood for. Every time he gets into trouble, Congressman Sr. comes to his rescue. That is not to say that Sr. always favored him or that he was the pet at home. Sr.’s bias for Jeb (the younger Bush), his preference for Jeb running for office and his apparent dislike for W. leave W. completely under-confident, broken and shattered. This lingers for days to come right up to his tenure as President.

W’s fascination for baseball sees him co-own the Texas Rangers circa 1994. Not that he had any experience or “boastable” credentials, it was just fascination and an aim to do something in life and prove daddy wrong. The one striking feature of the movie is how he imagines himself in a baseball field as a player catching the ball on the boundary. He imagines the crowd applauding his effort. This happens every time he does well or is down in the dumps. This makes you want to empathize with his miserable state, makes you feel for him. This is what he craves for – attention.

Needless to mention, the movie also takes a view of what we thoroughly made fun of - Bushisms like “misunderestimate” (!!!!) or the significance he attaches in naming his initiative on Iran/Iraq/N. Korea (axes of evil) or his ignorant style of snubbing critics by “I am the President, I have the last word”. I was particularly stunned when in one of the scenes, W. is hosting a press conference and he points out to a journalist (assumedly, from the East) as a “Miss China”!!!!

So throughout the movie, we see a man who is confused and reckless, beaten down and under-confident, funny and ridiculous and yet successfully runs for two terms as the most powerful man in the world. The movie doesn’t at any point in time, take sides by criticizing his stand on Iraq; it does not take a unilateral view of the man who bought vitriol to millions in the world for his actions in the Middle East. It just portrays a man – one who was born with a silver spoon but carries its burden throughout his life.

I will not comment on the characters or their ability to portray a W., Colin Powell, Condoleeza or Sr. All I will say is that care has been taken to demonstrate a personality, his mannerisms and attributes. Take for instance, W’s habit of winking at his audience or transferring his body weight on one leg during conversations or his funny gait. Care has also been taken to portray the distinguished personality that Colin Powell is, his stoic and yet strong opposition to some of Bush and Co.’s policies like the stand on the “War on Terror”.

My verdict – No rating can measure up this absolutely profound and honest movie.

Pressed to call

Dear God,

It’s been a while since I visited here. Blame it on the mundane, uneventful, uncertain times we are all enduring…And yet so much has happened in the recent past – Obama’s bail-out plans, Top executives of AIG returning their bonuses from the bail-out funds, Sarkozy on an apparent trip of revamping his cabinet (like it were a wardrobe) with the choicest of good-looking women, Varun Gandhi’s demented speech, Mulayam’s dig at Ministhy Dileep or the war of words between Chidambaram, Jaitley and Modi over IPL. Too many events and yet not much to write about, if you know what I mean.

Scribbling is how I began here and I intend to keep it that way too. To save the risk of running out of thoughts and therefore voluntarily closing down this area, I thought I’d write something that transpired (Something I thought was funny. Exaggerated, but funny) recently.

A very good friend of ours had been out of touch for a long time. Unusual I thought, because it was he who would always initiate the calls, messages or the well-wishes. I knew he was going through a tough time (like all of us are) with recession biting in. So, I decided to call him for a change. Actually, I called him multiple times. Surprisingly, he would either not respond or choose to keep conversations REALLY short with a “In the middle of something, give me a minute and I will call you back”. Of course, that “minute” never transpired and I kept waiting until I was truly motivated to write this exaggerated and rhetorical mail….

From: Ramaratnam Sunderrajan

Sent: Tue 3/24/2009 9:19 PM

To: manavbhalla

Cc: aloktiwary

Subject: "In the middle of something, give me a minute and I will call you back."

Respected Mr. Manav Bhalla,

I, Alok Tiwary (ex-XX, employee code - 30353, SSO number - 500009567, Ration card number - will have to write back!) write to you on behalf of S. Ramaratnam, another co-worker from ex-XX (pass-out, Dec'08).

This has reference to the aforementioned subject. As you may see, the subject indicates an oft used statement by you. The words were constantly ringing in his ear all the time. He had reached a point of hallucination and was recommended therapy. The shrink who we consulted said that his mind was beyond repair and until and unless a call or a message (read a "Sadma") from the "Be-all and End-all" (read Manav Bhalla) of M/S The XXXX Corporation happened to him, there was no hope! Sir, I write to you to describe the appalling plight that our friend has been put through, just for want of hearing from you.

It is imperative that I mention here Sir, that S. Ramaratnam was extremely disgruntled and indignant at the fact that every time he attempted to call you, "refer-the-subject" is what he got. He would always wonder (in my presence, of course) as to why your respected selves were never in the left or right of something, why only the middle. This geometrical anti-theorem caused deep and unwarranted stress on his rather sensitive mind. It also appeared that every time he called you, you never greeted/addressed him by name. Instead, you would just say a rather insipid, pale, uninterested, morose, melancholic (think I've run out!) "Hello". It was as if, your high flying, revolutionary and technologically superior handset could not store his complete name. To what Sir, does he owe this pathetic condition?

Please treat this email as a humble plea to make time out of your endlessly busy schedule and call our common colleague who is now on the brink of being crowned the next King of England (ok, that's exaggerated, but that's what he thinks). It has been ages since we made any contact with you (phone or email). Needless to mention, there have been similar episodes in the past where we have been unsuccessful in making any contact with you.

Rhetorical and caustic as the email may appear to you, all laws of physics have been defied with the ringing in his ears. It has left many a physician/ist dumbfounded as to why the ringing does not emanate a sound audible to others around. A research committee has been identified to study and counter this unique and historical phenomenon.

Bhalla, we all are going through pressures of some form - big or small. Guess you got the message, please call!

Regards,
Ram

Chei peete?

Minu
Chei – Rs. 5/-
Lukmi – Rs. 15/-
Paaya – Rs. 15/-
Meals – Rs. 25/-
Minral water – Rs. 10/-

Wash Bashun ------------>
(No Smoking Allowed here)

Dear God,

In case you wondered what this is about, let me introduce you to the world of Hyderabadi Cafes. And if you thought the spellings were blasphemous, don’t blame me – they are a straight lift from my experiences sitting around in there. Oh! Before I forget the absolutely prickly warning sign, Ambumani Ramadoss did successfully put a check on smoking, but did not probably envisage the faux pas with warnings.

So let’s start with our day’s visit to the quintessential Garden Café or the Omega Café…

Dost: Kaisa hai be?
Me: Good hai, kya chalra?
Dost: Kuch nahi be, wohi roz-madra ki zindagi!
Me: Chal Chai maarte hai (I can’t get over why we are so violent in life, verbally too!)

At the Café, after we are settled down with our usual smokes (Devil may care Ambumani Ramadoss):

Waiter: Chei peete? (Unusual, because a waiter here never stops for orders)
Me: How, do chai, malai ke saath
Dost: Ek bas re, merko nakko (there you go, our Hyderabadi versatility, a bit of Marathi)

The waiter yells “Ek chei, malai maarke!!" at the shady, dark and scary-looking kitchen. You have to be there to believe the baritone, modulated voice of the waiter. While the tea cup makes its journey to our meanwhile clean-dried mosaic table, we admire the facility.

Dost (nostaligic): Abbe, yaad hai apan poora din Café mein ek chai pe ghanto baitthe the! “

(Around here, you could actually sit smoking and talking, sometimes without ordering for practically an entire day. No questions asked.)

Me: How be! Everything else has changed, not these joints. Thank God for that!

In the interim, our cup of Irani Chai lands with a THUD! accompanied by an empty cup. Now that’s a Hyderabadi Café for you – if you can’t have all the tea, share it! And Guess what, if you don’t get one, ask for it. “Ek emty laa do”!

So then you get to hear the various voices around you – some chatting business, some giving mouthfuls, some others taking earfuls!, all of it in staunch, orthodox Hyderabadi lingo. In here, as across HYD, your mother ka, sister ka take a completely different meaning. Swear words are customized to suit the tongue, if you like.

Let me name a few prominent Cafes – most of which we frequent purely to appease our nostalgic hunger pangs. Garden Café, Omega Café, Niagra Café, Alpha Café, Hotel Blue Sea….Man! the memories associated with each is just so filling. I still recall, these hangouts served as the best stress busters after an argument at home, a tiff with the bus conductor or a long, drab day at the college.

Another feature of these joints – customers, loyal regulars. Some of them can take you back in time and narrate how these joints sprung up, the historical significance associated with each of them. The customers know the waiters by their names, or so I think! (every waiter here is either a ‘Seenu Anna’ or a ‘Munna’). Some of the customers around here are so comfortable, they actually use the water glasses around to double up for wash-basins post a sumptuous meal.

Your neighbour could be anybody, smoker or non-smoker, labourer or businessman. There are no frills attached, no questions on dignity. Everybody here is a customer.

Coming back, we finish our “chei”. We call for Seenu or Munna, pay him “ek chai” 5 bucks and are out of the café in no time. No queues at the counter, no tipping required and best of all, there are no complaints. The tea here is all ready before orders and is served piping hot.

So God, the next time you are here in HYD, do visit one of these vibrant joints. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. Who knows, you might go back and start a chain too!

Cheers to Hyderabadi chei and the Café spirit!

My purpose around here

Dear God,

I must confess I don’t know why I started writing. I don’t think there was an influence or a driving factor. However now, after a not-so-great hand at some scribbling, I think I am motivated to write more and more. It seems to get me thinking all the time. It makes me look for words to fit meanings to thoughts. Needless to mention, the feeling of triumph makes me feel lighter.

Maybe I did draw inspiration from my Idol, my mentor Amit Bhaskar and to some extent from my sister too. But I don’t know. I am not going to spend too much time talking about their styles of writing. To maintain continuity, let me tell you what my objectives are around here.

1. My thoughts, my ideas are intellectual property to you and me. No one else needs to alter my thoughts or try influencing my conversations with you.
2. I will write what I feel like. In you I trust, all others (especially, the cynics) can go and take care of their businesses.
3. I will share my conversations with absolutely select few, few who will understand my thoughts and critique them wisely.
4. I am not the kinds who will write to you because I have to. I will do that at my will and to suit my whims and fancies.
5. I am not sure if these thoughts reach you Dear God. Nonetheless, I will continue scribbling because I feel good talking to you.
6. I want my efforts to be a dialogue and hence I write to you. I will try and eventually imagine your responses too to my thoughts.
7. If my language is not flashy and my thoughts are small, it’s alright. All I need is for you to understand me. In you I trust, all others (especially, the cynics) can go and take care of their businesses.
8. I don’t care if my dialogues have snap-endings (a la O. Henry) or no endings at all. All I need is for you to understand me.

Good talking to you God.

“I don’t want to be an actor”

Dear God,

Acting is commonly defined as a profession where a person through visual, sound and any other storytelling media tells a story by portraying a character and usually singing or speaking text or play.

Notice the stress on ‘portraying’. Portray in turn, means to depict, represent or show. Now, let’s talk about it in relation to acting skills. A bit of history to open the subject…

Rewind to the 1800s and the first available video footage is of the silent movie Roundhay Garden Scene, a British short film. Fast forward to the 1900s and the first Sound film was called The Jazz Singer, an American musical.

I define acting as an ability to live a character and connect with the audience through the character’s emotions, mannerisms, habits etc. with utmost conviction. Dialogues to me are secondary; significant but secondary. Take for instance, the silent era – a true test of the actors’ skills to portray characters without being able to utter a word. Imagine the amount of expressions, emotions that would need to go into the movie if the actor had to connect with the audience, to sweep them off their feet!!

Can you imagine a ‘Cape fear’, a ‘Men of honor’ or a ‘Godfather I/II in the silent era? I for sure, can’t. These movies relied heavily on the dialogues and the characters’ ability to deliver those power packed, heavy and sometimes snappy dialogues. Most of the characters were based either entirely or loosely on real-life characters. All of them – De Niro, Nicholson, Brando/Pacino lived the characters and delivered us the masterpieces as we know them today.

So, what’s my point you ask? Here goes. I feel acting is no longer the only required skill in times we live today. Times have changed, tastes have changed, and so have emotions and the overall outlook on life. Life is fast-paced, attention spans are reduced, and we want action laced with captivating content.

Why do you think there is so much of hatred for our never-ending Hindi soaps? Simple, we can’t relate to them anymore. I can not relate to the long, endless pauses between dialogues. I find it difficult to agree with the expressions on the characters’ faces, their emotions. They simply do not apply to life as it is today. I wanted to personally explore these soaps to experience why there was so much prejudice. So I watched a couple of them. I couldn’t believe that the characters mouth a single “Nahi!!” four times in four different photographic angles. Who on earth does that? Or there is a force-fit, meaningless and unwanted suspense to every shot before a break or at the end of every episode. And why so much emphasis on a negative word “Nahi!!”? Come on!

In contrast, look at a new breed of actors, Farhaan Akhtar, Neil Nitin Mukesh or Abhay Deol to name a very few. I don’t see any expressions on their faces, no extraordinary emotions and certainly no heavy dialogues. And yet, I am able to readily relate to the characters they play. For example, Farhaan’s character of a lead singer – not only is it believable but also the trauma that it goes through with disbanding without excessive banter or long-winding dialogues and a final reunion with the band is pure magic. Or take Neil’s character of a small-time thug, nothing flashy about it either. He plays this very stoic, cold and unfettered character and executes the heist with almost no effort.

I do not say that acting as a skill is void. It just has to transform into a new plane, a plane where emotions or dialogues don’t matter. All that matters is connection, appeal and a lingering bond with the audience. Movies/plays now need to be fast-paced in capturing attention, for otherwise we have better business to take care of.