Dear God,
As I inch (note inch, am actually far away) toward the twilight of life, I realize that there is little time and so much to do. More than a quarter of a century has gone into maintenance, rebound, maintenance and rebound again, altercations, fights and mute frustrations. Some of them will remain etched in memories for reasons good and bad.
However, there are some that are not even worth retaining. There have been people I have hurt (most often, without their knowledge). I have unfairly punished them by simply abandoning them. This, despite the fact that they stood by me in crises, helped me when I needed most.
I am positive as I retrospect, that it was sheer arrogance. It is not worth it, God. It is not worth anymore now, more than ever. As I age, I need to be lighter and cannot carry the burden of ill-will. Every episode was making me stoop with the overbearing weight. I cannot afford it anymore; cannot face you without an answer.
And so, it makes perfect sense to make amends starting now. My quest has begun. In my own little way, I have started apologizing to people from the past. I have been reaching out to people who have had to suffer my wrath for no reason.
I know some of them reserve the right and liberty to not pardon me for all that they went through. And that's perfectly understandable. But I don't want to give up. I will take it as my Karma to pursue and persist. Tell you what, I've already had a few encouraging responses. Good start, there.
Another task in hand is the promise I made for Haiti. I didn't keep that up. I've to turn that around as well. Money is due there and I have only churned out excuses to keep it. Not happening.
So help me God.
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