AAP se anurodh!

Dear God,

As I file this, I learn that the AAP is hinting at forming a Government in DEL. Whose support, how etc are not in yet.


Kind attn: Mr. Arvind Kejriwal

Dear Mr. Kejriwal,

Trust all’s well.

I am amongst your harshest critics. It has, I assure you, no bearing on your methods or ideology as much as it does on politics and governance in this country.

That I have never written to any other outfit despite the vitriol they have brought about in the country and chose to write to you is testimony; testimony that the country and citizens saw a glimmer, a glimmer of positive optimism and brighter days ahead through the AAP.

It is with that very hope that I feel compelled to write to you about your stance on taking the podium in Delhi. AAP’s mainstay has been activism and relentless opposition to the order of the day – lawlessness, red-tapism and corruption abound! People of this vast expanse walked with you solely on that premise with faith of a better, brighter tomorrow.

Your showing at the recent polls took everyone by surprise, mostly pleasantly. A simple outfit with very simple but focused ideals was long overdue. How you would deliver on the electricity and water problems would make for an intellectual debate on another day. People sitting in the comforts of their cosy couches, especially the armchair critics suddenly took notice.

I think you owe it to this nation and its people. It is time to pay back.

In the wake of the quandary over who forms Government, here are a few observations/questions:

1.    If your agenda pivoted on an anti-Congress and anti-BJP promise, swaying this way or that is clear betrayal. You will be going against people’s mandate.
2.   By leaving a window of opportunity (the 18 points of contention, 10 days to consider etc), you’ve managed to create useless ambiguity.
3.    Do you really see a need to seek vox populi now to help you decide?
4.    On one occasion, you’d rightly pointed out that in Politics, nothing can be unconditional, then why this tentative stand?
5.    Besides, a sway this way would mean pro-corruption and that way would mean pro-communalism. Must I remind you that the country is fraught with communally opportunistic and opportunistically communal forces?
6.    So what if there are fresh elections, so what if it costs the exchequer and so what if you have to seek a fresh mandate? The costs and efforts thus incurred would be toward a good cause. Surely, it can’t get worse than the quantum of money we lost by way of scams.

I’d scarcely worry about fortunes in case of a fresh mandate. You were a big hit at a time when you were a ‘write-off’. A more convincing swing in your favour is the only likely outcome. Also, it is a very beautiful problem to have. Just when you wondered how you’d fulfill your promises, you are getting an extension up until the next general elections.

In my view, this is the time for you to sit back, retrospect and plan ahead. I hope you didn't think Delhi was your horizon. Real conquests lie within the remotest, hitherto untouched regions of our country. It is time to strategise and make public your next steps in governance. Do I need to remind you that you have far too many headaches to deal with, keeping in mind your manifesto?

Summarily, these should be your first few steps:

a.     Meet India Inc., the real engines of growth.
b.     Decentralize AAP, identify and field strong regional forces that carry your message forward
c.     Reinforce your presence on Social media, keep the country posted
d.    Get to know the Country, travel aggressively. India still lives in its villages!
e.     The party’s political inexperience was in full public view with the recent stir that Mr. Bhushan caused. This could also be the time for you to brainstorm on party ideals, bring about a consistency in tone and opinions.
f.      The country is facing grave crises – Sexual offences, gender discrimination, partition of states etc. What are your thoughts on these and various others?

Do give it a thought. Trust me you may not even have begun. There is a long way to go, miles to walk…

In the interim, I remain your harshest critic!

Chennai Express: A man-made catastrophe

Chennai Express: The future of Indian Cinema – crass, tasteless, humiliating and definitely worrying. My polite two bits to explain why…

Dear God,

Let’s start with some good points and the myriad not-so, this fare presented…

Like: Popcorn, Trailers, Interval, exchanging texts, Kumbakonam, Sathyaraj (despite the modicum role), gyrations by Priyamani and Deepika P.

Dislike: Everything else interspersed between the above.

SRK: After Chak de, my respect for him has only dwindled. Chennai Express brought it to a head. Thankfully, this movie establishes his age upfront but his histrionics still make you want to believe he is the tried and tested Rahul from yesteryears. In almost every frame (again!!!!), he turns out to be a damp squib.

Sathyaraj: The delightful but highly underrated Sathyaraj is wasted. What was he thinking when he signed up for this non-existent story!?!

Deepika P: Probably the only part of the movie that looked good!!!! Deepika’s Tamil was hardly convincing. If you thought all Tamilians’ve gotten their masculine and feminine genders confused, you are wrong!

The DDLJ, Antakshiri sequences couldn’t conjure up a smile. Lame lines intended to be funny like SRK’s sheepish, “Woh meri seat hai, my seatum!” or “Lekin, main!” when asked to go to Rameshwaram. “Main” what?

“Don’t underestimate the power of a common man” doesn’t found funny by any means. I guess the maker of this movie understood it and sooner than later replaced it with an even ridiculous “Don’t underestimate the common of a power man” Really!

Overall, the movie was humiliating, especially since the intended and unintended humour was targeted at Tamilians. Tamilians do not speak Hindi the way the movie depicts. Why, most Tamilians do not even speak the national language with all the political shenanigans at play.

What’s up with Chenaai?!?! Or Thaangabali?!?!?

Plot: why bother! Besides if you left your brains at home, does it matter?

That I contributed to the 100 Cr., the movie earned in its opening week irks me the most.

To friends, fair-weather and genuine well wishers, who urged me to leave my brains home before the fare, I pity you! Haven’t we seen madder and yet thoroughly enjoyable movies like Andaaz Apna Apna or Dhamaal?

To some others who provided their highly insightful, “after hours of hard work, I want to relax and watch a light movie”, you’ve gotten it wrong. You endure slime throughout the day and then close it with more slime doled out by a mindless crew. Only in the former, you get paid!

So how does one express ire towards CE and its ilk? – Boycott them or watch the pirated version.                            

                                   
                                                Issued in Public Interest

The bane of being a woman in India

“You go sit on the Kitchen floor!” Athaipatti condescendingly orders my sister to vacate her seat for me at the dining table. Later Amma tells me that old timers like her always preferred boys to girls for progeny. Poor Lalitha moved without protest.

Visiting a good friend’s home, I find his mother sitting on a mat laid out in the corner of the hall. A plate and tumbler are set aside for her. Upon inquiry I learn that she is “outside” for a set period. It is only later in time that I understand what it meant. A typical feature of the South Indian household, women have to endure this bizarre outcast-like treatment from menarche up until menopause, month after month. Episodically, they are considered impure and are not allowed to touch anything or anyone at home!

A family acquaintance, Doctor by profession, we learn later in life was violated by a group of men as an act of retribution aimed at her husband. If you asked Amma, she’d say that the lady was ‘spoilt’!

...My first memories of discrimination at home, growing up. Women across this great nation have, sadly, always resigned to fate when oppressed. Isn’t home the start to gender equality, respect for each other, education and empowerment?

Picture the typical company boardroom setup. The hosting VP calls for updates from across the room. When the lone lady presents her version, admittedly a bit sheepishly, the VP almost unflinchingly says, “Stick it up!” Cut to a similar setup, different company and different time. Women here are a minority. During an ensuing discussion, the MD makes a fleeting remark, “Sab Chutiye hain!”unmindful of the women seated around. Leave alone chivalry, basic etiquette was lacking, a clear sign of poor upbringing.

            In both of the aforementioned instances, the ladies either wore a stoic look or simply withdrew into a shell.

“F***, in time, you wouldn’t have to manage these babes. You are meant for a different role”, the Boss announces nonchalantly referring to my team of ladies. Thankfully, not in their presence!

Bapuji had once famously stated that India would be truly independent the day her womenfolk are able to walk uninhibited and fearless at midnight. That, unfortunately, is not a timeless piece. Women here, irrespective of age and time of day are liberally violated. Beyond doubt, even Bapuji would have been put to shame.

The movie Matrubhoomi: A Nation without Women (2003) is a futuristic take on a hamlet in North India that is inhabited by men alone. Thanks to every newborn girl child being sacrificed, men are left to double up for chores that are typically associated with women – cleaning, cooking, drawing water from wells etc. The men here are so frustrated that they resort to bestiality to douse the heat within. A family of 5 brothers is married to one woman in exchange for a sum. The ensuing horror is left to your imagination. The highpoint of the movie is in the total disregard for the woman except when in bed.

Internal party politics and apparent misogyny from various quarters persuaded the premier of a nation recently to step down in full public glare. That she did so with poise and dignity makes for a full-length blog. Other than the famed quartet in our country, why do you not see very many women in high places?

Out on the streets, men are killed (recall the Kegan-BBY incident) for protecting women. The opposite sex is a mere means to let off steam on-the-go (recall the Delhi rape incident)

Media does its bit in conveniently glamourising and de-glamourising her (recall the Arushi Talwar, Priyadarshini Mattoo, Jessica Lal cases). All of these ladies were widely reported in heightened frenzy. Whatever happened to those cases, no clue! Sheilas, Chikni Chamelis and their ilk have contributed abundantly to her commodification.

Dear God, 

Who am I to offer solutions? But I do have the right to share common sense. This plague of discrimination can be eradicated only through an all-round effort. Education, enforcement, enlightenment, empowerment et al need be packaged abundantly and appropriately. Castration, Electric chair, Hanging etc may not necessarily be deterrents.

Thottam house weakens!

Around 1984
“Koshava! Koshakumbara!”, the ever-rambunctious Ramettan chases the naughty lad (all of 6 years). Eventually the chase ends and Ramettan fondly embraces the lad. Favourite amongst all of Amma’s siblings, Ramettan always does his best to keep the lad and his sister in good spirits.

                                                                                                                                        

Around 1984 too
Chief amongst Ramettan’s chores is tending to the Cow and her calf. Every morning presents an invite to the lad to hop onto Ramettan’s able shoulders and scamper around Chandrashekarapuram. “Bada, bada!” Ramettan yells during the rounds.

                                                                                                                                 

Since first memories
“Mottai! Poovu parichiya?”The moniker (Mottai is a tonsured head, a custom followed upon the death of an elder) held good for either of the fraternal twins – Rama and Lakshmana. They acquired the name after the sad demise of Swarnam – Thottam house’s matriarch. Every morning, the twins take turns to tidy the numerous deities that adorned the ‘Swami room’. Flowers dotted the 21 cent-premise of Thottam house and every morning a sample of each would be presented at your feet.

                                                                                                                            


With time

Changing tides witness Ramettan switch over to medicine, as a med-representative. Every morning after the ritualistic ‘poojai’, he’d put on the un-ironed shirt over the ‘veshti’, hop over the ancient Hercules and race up to ‘paadhai’ (for convenience sake, the main road). Hardworking, he’d return only after an arduous 12-14 hrs at work. Sundays were meant for extra money via the occasional catering services’ call. A recent payslip (more like a crumb) reads his salary – Rs. 5121/- after all deductions!!!! How does one survive on such a paltry income in the 21^st century! Between managing a falling house, a kid’s school and tuition fees and some meager savings, there is only so much.

                                                                                                                                              

1-Aug-2013

The peace across his face is palpable. And yet, even as he undertakes the sojourn from Thottam House, you can feel the energy, see him smile! It is time, time to get out of the make-shift bed and undertake a whole new journey. Amidst raging fires, Ramettan departs!

                                                                                                                                           

Dear God, 

Ramettan would present himself at the station every trip (to and fro). Fond memories of that radiant smile added to the promise of a pleasant stay at Thottam House.  August 2012 was the last time he'd be at the station. A terrible accident had rendered him unconscious for over 24 hours until death became him. ‘Ettan’ (read Ayton) is a common Malayali address for the elder.  I will miss the affection, the warmth you showered upon me, Raman Mama. You are like the vital limb that is now lost. Coming home to Thottam is never going to be the same again. 

Memories are all that remain. The above mentioned are, but, just fragments.

Despite several hardships, I cannot recall one instance when he stretched his hand out for help. Such was his steadfast grit. It was in his character to be cheerful and spread cheer. Pity! you needed him earlier than his time.